Retrospective
by ColdDecemberNight
Summary: Set just before Season 4, Korra finds herself mentally broken and searching for ways to regain her avatar spirit but with little success. After a fight in an underground arena, she is captured by a mysterious man who is haunted by similar dreams and exudes familiar bloodlust. Will he help her to overcome her fears or will she be dragged further down a dark path.


Tears rolled down her ashen face as she slumped to the ground and clenched her fists. Her quiet sobs turned into the gnashing of teeth of frustration as she rubbed her eyes quickly and massaged her bruised rib. It was humiliating and frustrating to be beaten on the streets by some petty criminals without putting up a fight. She was the master of the four elements but her desire didn't mirror her body's capabilities. At first glance, she looked the part of her role as the Avatar with her hair tubes and traditional Water tribe regalia but beneath the picture of normalcy was a girl who was broken, tired and angry. Korra had spent the last two years in rehab with Katara, trying to regain her ability to move and maintain her balance. The spiritual healing did nothing to erase the nightmares and demons that constantly plagued her sub conscience. She was emotionally scarred from her encounter with Zaheer and her brush with death forced her body to go into a state of cataclysm. The Avatar state was lost beyond her and after spending two years pondering and suffering, it had taken a toll on her. It could have been the straw that broke the camel's back or maybe, she was destined for a change of scenery.

Travelling the world in search for answers was futile and the sleepless nights would continue- her insomnia fuelled by emotions that she couldn't let go off. She found herself back in the Earth Kingdom in a state of lethargy and hopelessness. She rubbed her eyes and clenched her fists as the apparition of her in the Avatar state beckoned her from the entrance of an underground arena. Korra hesitantly took a step forward and made her way through the throngs of people that were entering and exiting the arena. It was the exact opposite of the pro-bending circuit that she was used to. A lavish ring was replaced by a caged octagonal ring surrounded by enthusiastic bookies and churlish townspeople. Rules did not exist in the arena as fighters were brutally dealt with the winner being declared once one of them was not able to stand any longer. The ring was full of grime and stained brown with the dried blood of past contestants while each fighter sported a look of malice and ruthlessness that she hadn't seen since her first match in Republic City.

She silently watched the match and stuffed a hand into her pocket, playing with her remaining yuan shillings, a reminder that before her mental deterioration killed her, hunger would claim her first. She tried living off the land but in her state, it wasn't easy looking for edible items in the wild and no one was willing to feed or shelter her since she was just a vagabond and no longer the avatar. Her azure orbs followed the fighting sequence as she weighed her options and plausible alternatives. Just as the match bell rang and the crowd erupted into cacophonous cheers, she approached the manager of the ring and offered to put up a good fight against one of the club's best fighters. The manager studied her tall and athletic built and promised her a hefty reward if she could entertain the crowd or even snatch a victory from her female opponent.

Korra set her bag down and silently warmed up. She slapped herself lightly and gave a small smile at the thought of getting a chance of building up her physical strength. "I've taken down some of the world's worst villains so I don't think I'll have too much trouble with some chumps," she thought to herself confidently and hopped into the ring.

"Place your bets on the newbie, Korra! She promises an entertaining fight filled with power and ferocity!" The manager yells to the horde of supporters as Korra cracked her knuckled and studied her opponent. Her opponent was fairly built and sported protective gear but there was nothing intimidating about her and she obviously has the advantage of using four elements as opposed to just earth.

The match started off well for Korra who fired earth projectiles at the opponent and trapped her blanketed her with a burst of flames from her rear as her opponent walked into her second attack while trying to avoid the projectiles. She stumbled and Korra went in for a melee attack but was caught by surprise with a hook. Korra stumbled and erected an earth wall to stifle her attacks but her opponent sent her tumbling with a large projectile. She grew increasingly frustrated with her lack of agility as she switched to a defensive stance. She exchanged blows with her opponent but Korra found herself getting tired quickly and soon enough, her opponent finished her off with a projectile to her abdomen. The avatar slumped to the ground and closed her eyes as the pain seared through her entire body. Boos rained from the crowd as they started cussing her out and hurling rotten fruit at her.

"I thought you would put up more of a fight. You're a waste of time so enjoy your payment and get lost," the manager said snidely as he dropped a small stack of notes next to her and walked off. Korra held back her tears as she wanted to lock herself in a place that no one could find her and cry her heart out. She felt utterly useless and humiliated. The stack of bills that was supposed to feed her felt like a charity donation but what hurt was that she couldn't even defeat some scum of the earth brawler in an underground arena. She slowly got up to her feet as her vision began to waver. Her left eye was bruised and beginning to swell while her caramel skin was a canvas for cuts and bruises. She slung her bag across her shoulders and bent down to pick up the money as chants of 'You're weak Avatar Korra' rung in her ears.

"Get out of my head! I already defeated you so please stop tormenting me," she tried her best not to cry and stumbled a bit as fatigue began to take a toll on her body.

"You really need to relax , lady or you're going to die from exhaustion," a voice rang from behind her.

Korra slowly turned around to see a young man in his mid twenties with short black hair and brown eyes approach her. He was wearing a simple green robe with black leather boots and approached her casually.

"Tears? You've gotten paid so I don't see the reason for sympathy," the young man mused as Korra grit her teeth and hurled a punch at his face. He merely caught her fist and inflicted a precise chop to the back of her neck, causing her to fold and crumple to the ground. She felt her vision fade into obscurity as she felt her strength leave her body. "I'll fucking kill you so don't you touch me you bastard!" she cried out in a hoarse voice as the young man ignored her and picked up her bag.

"You'll thank me for this, Korra. I hope I got your name right," he picked her up bridal style as tears finally streamed down her cheeks. She muffled a sob as she felt powerless to stop her assailant from having his way with her. "I'm so sorry mum and dad. I made you worry," she wept silently as her salty tears left a smudge on her dirtied cheeks. The young man silently carried her back to his hotel room as she succumbed to her fatigue.

The scene of Zaheer poisoning her while she was chained like a wild animal continued to haunt her and she woke up with a scream as she sat up in bed with sweat dripping down her face. She looked around and felt surprised to find herself bandaged and wrapped in a warm blanket on a comfortable bed. It was a sparse and spacious room with little furniture and one window. The cool breeze kissed her cheeks as the window was left slightly ajar and the chirping of crickets was a relaxing sound to hear. She found the young man sleeping peacefully on his desk and she quietly grabbed her knife from her bag and approached him silently.

" Glad to see that you're this animated at four in the morning," he yawned and brandished his knife too. "Don't think that sneaking up with a knife in your hand is any way to thank the person who just patched you up and gave his bed up for you. Unlike the rest of the people here, I have no qualms about splitting you open like a goose so do the smart thing and let's be civil," he said darkly.

Korra cursed and dropped her knife before sitting back on the bed. The young man put his knife away and turned his chair to face her. He was greeted with a venomous glare. "Good morning Korra," he said sarcastically as she continued staring at him.

"Bastard…"

"My name is Zabuza. I'm not here to kidnap you. I brought you here because you caught my interest. It seems that we aren't too different from each other after all," he said mildly.

"You really expect me to believe that? A total stranger proclaims that we're alike and points a gun at me and yet patches me up and let me sleeps in his bed? You're obviously a psycho!" Korra pointed accusingly at him. He narrowed his eyes at the avatar who reciprocated his steely gaze. "Bent, broken, frustrated, humiliated, betrayed, angry and a great fighter. That's what we have in common. I didn't need to know you to know that you've obviously gone through a rough time from the look in your eyes. I'm just looking out for a fellow outcast," he shrugged and offered her an apple.

"You really think that I'm going to fall for some Snow White ploy? I'm just not a pretty face you know," she said dryly. Zabuza took a bite of the apple and swallowed and raised an eyebrow at the still slightly suspicious avatar who eventually accepted it grudgingly. Her hunger was evident as she voraciously polished off the apple. "Explain the butcher's knife, city boy. I don't think I've ever seen a civilian carry around such dangerous weapons," she narrowed her eyes.

"Would you believe if I said that this blade holds unmeasurable value and was a gift from my predecessor?"

"Not a chance so start talking," she shook her head much to his amusement.

"I'm not a bender nor am I a citizen of any of the nations. This water bending that exists in this world is beyond pathetic and a mockery to the art of the water element style of the Hidden Mist. You hone your skills for peace when you can't hope to unlock its full power unless you have the intention of crushing your opponents and maximising your skills as a ninja." He walked over to his Executioner's blade and picked it up with relative ease much to Korra's shock.

"This blade can put your head on a silver platter in an instant so I suggest refraining from the interrogation," he smirked and rested it against the wall once more.

Korra felt slightly frightened of him. This man had confirmed her suspicions – he was a psychopathic serial killer. Who in their right mind would carry around a weapon like that in broad daylight? Not to mention that she could sense his bloodlust from his spiritual energy. She still couldn't fathom why he took her in and tended to her wounds if he was going to slaughter her. His steely gaze shook her to the core but she put on a brave face and clenched her fists. She was the avatar- the saviour of the world and she wasn't going to let herself be spooked by some homicidal maniac. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before shaking her head in disbelief.

"What are you waiting for? Kill me already, not that I'll let you but if you want to get your ass whooped by me, I suggest doing it now because I really have to be on my way," she eyed him carefully as he merely scoffed in disbelief and took a step towards her. She bawled her fists and began creating flames on her palms.

"Get the hell away from me before I grill you like a salmon skewer," she said warningly but to no avail as Zabuza calmly extinguished her flames with the glass of water on her dresser before feeling her forehead with his hand.

"Your fever seems to have gone down but you will do well to rest up for today because you're going to get yourself killed if you pick anymore stupid fights in your current condition." He held her by the scruff of her tank top and placed his face dangerously close to hers.

"Last chance, avatar. Threaten me again and you'll be losing more than just an arm," he released her as Korra rubbed her neck gingerly before getting back onto the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to relax as her head touched the pillow. Her body was in bad shape and she felt tired from the lack of food and water but worst of all, her mental state was still fragile. This Zabuza guy reminded her of Amon and this triggered more flashbacks. She feared Zabuza and his willingness to shed blood. She didn't know how powerful he was and it was evident that she wasn't in the best shape to fight him if need be. Could he blood bend too? Or did he have some secret forbidden bending ability?

"You've got a lot of fight in you and I respect that. Risking your life in that ring wasn't the smartest move but you probably have a good reason for doing so. We part ways tomorrow morning. I have places to be and I don't need your clumsiness slowing me down," he glanced at the silent girl.

Korra was about to retort but she kept mum. This was the perfect opportunity for her to ditch the crazy guy and continue her travels but she felt obligated to thank him for taking care of her and putting up with her for the night. If he was a serial killer, he would have done something by now and if he was a power-hungry lunatic like Unalaq and Zaheer, he would have killed her too but then again, with her new look, not even the average Republic City citizen could tell that she was the avatar.

"Gee, don't let me get in your way. Listen, I know that I should have said this earlier but thank you for taking me in," she said earnestly. The young man gave a small grunt and went back to sitting in the corner of the room.

"I'm trying to escape this realm. You might not believe it but I think that I got reincarnated into this world. I was a master swordsman of the Hidden Mist village in my past life- the equivalent of an assassin from the Water Tribe…" he started.

"Yeah….we don't have any assassins in our tribe. We're not about unnecessary violence in this world so it's not the same," Korra snorted much to his irritation.

"I became a rogue warrior and became a mercenary to earn a living. However, my partner and I lost our lives during a mission and everything ended. Strangely enough, I found myself unconscious in the slums of this Earth kingdom and I had lost all my abilities. I'm just a mercenary with a weapon now. I've been looking for ways to leave this place but it's impossible. I've been reborn in a parallel universe so my best bet is to head to the Water tribe."

"Out of the question! Forget it! You are not going near my friends or family," Korra growled and stood up. The masked mercenary merely pointed the blade of his sword at her.

"Afraid that I might use this on your people if they don't cooperate? I don't have any powers you know except my smarts," he taunted her.

She clutched her sides and grit her teeth. "My ribs are sore as hell. Some kind of avatar, you are," she cursed mentally and wheezed slightly.

Zabuza ignored her and closed his eyes calmly. She sat back on the bed and slowly allowed the warm bed take her away but Zabuza finally got up and walked over to her.

"You must be the avatar. I've heard stories about you but didn't believe it since nobody has seen you for three years. I just came to realise that you could use all four elements during your fight and only the avatar is able to master all four of them. Looks like I have some use for you after all," he gave a salacious smirk underneath his mask.

Korra narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to speak when he cut her off. " You are plagued by nightmares of your failures. You can't seem to overcome that hurdle. It's like a second shadow, the noise inside your head and the blood seeping through your veins. I could help you get over it. Believe me, I'm in the same boat as you. I was haunted by the spirit of my deceased partner, ridden with guilt and memories of his death continue to serve as my default dream. I watched him die right in front of my eyes and I can never let it go," he looked out the window.

" Our stories may differ but we are both haunted by memories of things that we fear the most. For you, it's this Zaheer guy you spoke of in your sleep and for me, it's the fear of losing someone important to me again."

Korra felt slightly bad for yelling at him but she maintained her stance. "Look pal, I'm sorry for your loss but you're a mercenary and you should have known that it was going to end up that way," she protested.

"You're right and that's why his blood will forever be on my hands. I knew the inevitable march towards our graves and yet, I refused to treat him more than anything but a tool of war. Perhaps you're different because staring at death's door was a first for you. Death's door knows my face because I have had countless brushes with it so I have become desensitized to the notion of dying. For you to overcome your fears, you need to experience it repeatedly until you become numb," Zabuza mused as Korra looked stunned.

Katara's spiritual healing and therapy had not been very effective but his suggestion made even less sense. "So you want me to keep getting poisoned until I'm immune to the possibility of dying? Are you fucked in the head or something?" she snapped and landed a punch on his face that sent him staggering.

He rubbed his cheek and let out a low laugh. "I guess the only way to dispel your nightmares is to attack the source directly."

She took up a fighting stance and maintained her distance. "Enough with your games. You obviously have an ulterior motive so tell me before I bust out of here and alert the authorities of your whereabouts," she warned.

Zabuza remained unperturbed and grabbed his sword and slung it across his back. "This man Zaheer, is currently in prison, right? Do you know where this prison is located?" he asked much to Korra's surprise. She couldn't fathom his sudden interest in Zaheer but it was beginning to click now. He was probably using her to get to him and break him out but she was having none of it.

She quickly started to fire bend and unleashed a barrage of flaming kicks and punches upon the masked man. Zabuza easily dodged them and sent her stumbling with a counter hook across her face. Korra felt her ears ring and she barely avoided a roundhouse kick by the water ninja. She growled and sent some rock projectiles at him but he drew his Executioner's blade and with one swift motion, sliced through the rocks like a hot knife through butter.

"You're getting me all excited with this fighting. I haven't had a good opponent in eternity!" he licked his lips and brought down his blade upon her but Korra erected a mud wall and rolled away as the blade perforated the wall. She sent him crashing into the table with a strong gust of wind and immobilised him in an earth cocoon.

"The drawbacks of being a civilian. I'm fucking useless again benders and shinobi, even with my blade. This shit is heavier than I remembered," he sighed as Korra looked satisfied at him.

"Not so tough after all, huh?"

In the blink of an eye, her vision became blurry and she staggered before dropping to her knees. "What the hell is going on? What did you do to me?" she clutched her head as Zabuza broke out of the cocoon with his sword and threw the empty grenade into the bin.

"Odourless and colourless sleeping gas. I guess there are some things from my world that you aren't familiar with. Oh, and no hard feelings, but I need to release some steam too," he grinned before knocking her out with a kick to the face.

She was awoken by the chirping of birds at the crack of dawn and she slowly rubbed her head. In addition to her swollen left eye, she felt another painful lump on her right cheek. "Great, I look as if I just walked through a bloody bee farm," she grumbled and looked around.

She was about to move when she felt cold steel press against her throat. "No more games, Korra or I'm mounting your head on this wall as a trophy. If I sense even the slightest of movements, I will kill you," Zabuza said calmly as beads of sweat began to form on the avatar's forehead. The energy he gave off was a dangerous and hostile one- different from the previous night. He was dead serious about killing her so she decided to stand down.

"I would like to offer a temporary partnership. You need me as much as I need you, avatar Korra. I'm guessing that you've been travelling all around the world searching for answers but has that yielded anything? No because it's a waste of time and you're a failure. You're a hindrance to society now. You won't find the solution to your problems anywhere but one place- me" he sat down on and closed the window.

She laughed horribly. "So you're telling me that you can help me and a legendary Water tribe healer can't? Please go on. I find this to be quite amusing."

"You'll keep having these dreams as long as Zaheer is still alive and out there. If he ever gets free again, you won't be so lucky the next time and you really will be sent to an early grave. However, being the avatar, you're a symbol of peace, a symbol of unity between nations. Violence is your last resort to resolving a conflict. It must be so hard having all this pent-up rage towards the man who took away everything from you and being able to do nothing about it but let him rot in some prison," his lip curled upwards into a sneer as Korra's face became pale.

" He will have all of eternity to think about his crimes and repent. There is no need to seek him out," she defended.

"That's where I come in. I'm a mercenary as you know and I'm willing to have his blood on my hands at your behest. You don't even have to pay me," he leaned forward as Korra's azure eyes widened in utter shock. She was in such a state of catatonic shock that she couldn't find the right words to formulate a simple response. This man was offering to kill Zaheer and end her nightmares.

"I'm not a murderer! Even though he did what he did to me but he was misunderstood and I have no intention of hiring you to kill him so forget it!" she yelled in anger as Zabuza shook his head.

"But I have all the desire to chop him up into a hundred pieces now. Let me rephrase it in a way that doesn't make you a murderer. He took away your life as the avatar and is the bane of your existence. If he's going to die in prison anyway, wouldn't it be kinder to give him a quick and painless death? Let's face it, you know that he's never leaving prison. If you ask me, spending the next hundred years in prison is more torturous than a one stab to the body. You can end this nightmare quickly or let it haunt you for the rest of your miserable life."

Korra's voice faltered as she remembered that Zaheer was a ruthless man who would kill anyone in his way- evidenced by the demise of the then Earth Queen at his hands. She felt her anger rise as memories of her father being thrown off a cliff by him flooded her mind. And of course, the mercury poisoning. Her silence was pleasing to Zabuza who knew that he had triggered her flashbacks.

"What do you get out of this?" she snapped back as she felt him press the tip of the blade harder against her throat.

" I want to get out of this world by entering the spirit world. Show me the way to one of the spirit portals so that I may look for a gateway back to my world and in exchange, I'll have a little chat to Zaheer," he laughed.

Korra bit her lower lip and glared at him. "What if I like not being the avatar? I don't have to deal with the burden of saving the world and maintain peace between the nations! And I don't have to worry about disappointing everyone!" she retorted.

"Then I have no use for you and I'll kill you right here, right now he replied calmly.

"Even if I tell you where he is, there's no way that you're getting through all that security. It's probably a maximum-security prison guarded by some of the best warriors in the nation," she shrugged.

"You forget who you're talking to, bitch. You may have caught me by surprise but I assure you, I'm stronger than anyone here. He glanced at his watch and grinned. I think the mission has been successfully carried out," he turned to her.

"You'll be glad to know that the mission to assassinate Zaheer has been completed without any complications. My job was just to buy enough time for you to stick around and stay out of our way," he dropped his blade and knocked her aside with the hilt. She winced in pain as her already sore ribs began to throb with renewed enthusiasm.

"What are you saying. Zaheer isn't dead you maniac," she struggled to her feet as Zabuza fastened his utility belt and shot her a sympathetic look.

"My partner just killed him so no need to thank me."

"Your partner? I thought you said that he died protecting you? This is another one of your mind games isn't it" Korra yelled and charged at him with a punch but he easily dodged it but he wasn't prepared for the earth swallowing his legs and rooting him to the spot.

Korra clenched her fists and unleashed a powerful punch that sent him flying through the wall of his room and tumbling out into the open. Zabuza groaned in pain as blood began trickling from his forehead as she began advancing towards him. He reached for his blade but she blew him back with a gust of wind.

"Start from the beginning," she ordered as the masked assassin nursed his broken nose. "My partner was reincarnated into this world too but he retained his abilities- he's a god among men here. You have no idea how deadly an assassin he is. After we were found, we were hired to kill Zaheer and find you. I have been tracking you for a while now while my partner, Haku, was tasked with infiltrating the prison and killing him. Boy, was I glad to run into you in that arena," he laughed dryly as Korra started to tremble.

"You're lying! Zaheer isn't dead! He's one of the most powerful benders!" she took a step back much to his amusement. " Hate to break it to you but he's gone. Haku had his head on a silver platter. Hopefully, your nightmares will be gone thanks to us," he dusted himself and looked smug.

Korra stared at the palms of her hands in disbelief as Zabuza took the opportunity to tackle her and grab his blade.

"It's not your fault that he was killed, avatar. If at all, we're just doing our job. Now that he's gone, you can finally re-evaluate yourself. Did you fear stem from his continued existence or the realisation that you aren't powerful enough to protect those around you. Maybe you can finally stop hiding from the world and do your bloody job, you pathetic coward," he said derisively as tears began streaming Korra's face.

"Shut up! You have no right to lecture me on who I am or what I can do! You don't know how much I have suffered these past two years!" she screamed and water bent a strong jet that he barely blocked with his blade.

"That may be so but it's not my problem. I'm just quoting my boss so don't shoot the messenger. If it was up to me, I would just say one thing. You're just scared by the fact that you aren't the strongest being in this universe. Plain and simple, Korra."

" Oh yes, his blood is on your hands indirectly and I wonder if killing him really solved your nightmares or exacerbated it. We shall see very soon," he turned to walk away from her.

This couldn't be happening. She needed answers from him because this felt like a dream to her.

"Who hired you!?" she demanded as he ignored her and kept walking out of the alley.

"I asked you a question!" she growled and earth bent the walls to cave in on him. He paused and stole a glance at her, contemplating whether to keep the girl in suspense or give her some closure.

"Someone who is looking for you and wants you to come back to help the Earth Kingdom," Zabuza muttered before disappearing into a cloud of smoke.

Korra stared at the distant sky in silence as her injuries didn't seem to be bothering her as much anymore. Tenzin had told her that he would do his best to maintain order and carry out her responsibilities while she recuperated but it seemed that the world needed her more than ever. Something sinister was brewing in the Earth Kingdom and she didn't have the time to keep feeling sorry for herself. Little did she know, she was about to embark on her most dangerous journey yet as the avatar.

A/N Just finished the LOK series and decided to write this on a whim. Hope you guys enjoyed the story and reviews are appreciated!


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